Temporary Car Insurance and the Murdering Wife

I remember her saying that temporary car insurance was important to her, but I never thought she would leave me. Ok, I forgot to order temporary car insurance before our trip - but cut me some slack. Some men cheat on their spouses and donít split up, but youíre leaving me over car insurance? Good riddance!

Mary showed up on my porch one morning. She had suffered a flat-tire outside my house and asked if she could use the phone. After she called AAA we sat and talked for a while. Mary had just graduated from college back east and was in the process of getting settled in her new apartment. She had been hired by the big plant as an accountant and didnít know a soul in town.

What I didnít know, was that Mary had been arrested while in school for murdering 3 classmates in her poetry class. The charges were dropped when the one witness that had been watching from the shadows, suddenly changed her mind and wouldnít testify. What I also didnít know; was that Mary had also been arrested 2 other times for murder.

Mary and I started dating Ė heavily. We were married one week after we met in a simple civil ceremony at the court house. She stayed home for the time being while I went to work. Little did I suspect she was murdering all the neighbors while I was away. There was always dinner waiting for me when I got home, so I never suspected a thing.

Although she often attacked me with knives, she really never did any permanent damage and I loved her. One night I awoke to find her kneeling over me a butcher-knife raised above her head. I easily deflected the downward blow and we both had a good laugh about it the next morning. It was fun being married to Mary Ė until it wasnít.

It all started with our health insurance policy. She always wanted more, more, more. It seemed no amount of health insurance was enough to make her happy. Then it was our car insurance. Bigger deductible, smaller deductible, it didnít matter. She would get steaming mad about insurance.

To be honest, I can forgive her occasional murder spree. I can ignore the fact that she often hides in the dark with a knife and jumps out at me. I can accept this behavior as Ďquirky.í I donít break up over it. I make one little mistake and she leaves ME? Okay, so I forgot to call the guy about getting temporary car insurance before our trip. Big deal! Letís see, you murder everyone in our neighborhood and I forgot to order temporary car insurance. Which is worse? Me? Oh, youíre killing me.

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